Have you ever heard this saying?
It is a sentiment, a lesson, a theory I distinctly remember learning about back in Grade 12. One that a teacher believed wholeheartedly in and one that has sat with me since. One that I also believe in. One that has inspired many a blog post like this one about an old list I made and this one about being told I am hard to love.
“The universe will keep giving you lessons until you learn them” has been an important part of me for so long. But here is the issue…
I have only ever thought of this quote in a negative sense.
- The universe will keep handing you difficult situations until you can learn to be more patient.
- The universe will keep you on your toes with hard times until you can learn to be kind.
- The universe is challenging me through a difficult experience once again to learn that I need to be more graceful/grateful/empathetic/forgiving and on and on and on…
And though I believe there is truth to this, lately, I feel that the universe has been sending me some lessons that I have refused to see until now.
The universe is not only being HARD on me until I learn a lesson.
I am also meant to learn the lessons through positive experiences sent my way.
The universe is actually surrounding me with love and light and constantly sending me reminders and lessons that are not in fact, negative in order to learn them.
The lessons that I need to learn? The ones that the universe keeps sending me because I still refuse to believe them?
That I am enough. That I am loved. That I matter. That I am a good person.
THESE are the lessons I am meant to learn. Not only the “negative” ones, the positives. The lessons that challenge me to see the good within me, that is already THERE, instead of what I am lacking and need to be more of.
Exhibit #1, #2 and #3
Random messages like these. Texted to me or emailed to me or with me tagged in them. Ones just like this one sent to me by a dear friends simply stating that this reminded them of me.
No challenging hard time presented by the universe. Just a little nudge to remind me that I am loved. A lesson I am still having to learn. Over and over again.
A community of incredible humans and believers and followers who have become friends that build me up and see me in this way. A way in which I do not see myself but that the universe is sending me every chance it gets waiting for me to listen.
Thank you “Auntie” Christa. Thank you to all of the other Christa’s out there who take the time to send me these words of kindness and affirmation. I see you universe. And I am trying to learn.
A community that believes in me. In my dreams. In changing the world with me. That understands my intentions. That knows that I am not in the business of saying “watch me” but “join me. I would love to have you”.
I see them. I know they are there. The universe keeps sending them my way.
But will they be “out” at some point? Will my dreams get to be too big for them? Will I be “too much” for them?
But again, it is a lesson I keep being presented with. These incredible people who keep coming my way.
I am still having to learn. And the ones that stick around? Those are the keepers. The bottom hands I love so much.
My mentor and greatest hero asked me to write a book with her.
C’mon now universe.
I see what you’re doing here. And even though I am still having a hard time learning the lesson, I am grateful you keep trying to teach me. Teachers These Days with Dr. Jody Carrington had me fighting the imposter syndrome and the affirmation handed to me by the universe every step of the way…
You would think that being on The Ellen Show would be the ultimate affirmation in this whole enoughness department that the universe is trying to teach me.
I remember leaving the show and my husband Cody looking at me and saying “This is the ultimate affirmation Laurie. I hope you finally realize what a good person you are.” He knows me and he knows my struggles. He knows it is not what I believe about myself but he sure hopes I believe it now.
I am thankful for this experience and all it taught me but FYI…
I am still learning this lesson.
Is there any bigger lesson the universe can throw at me and send my way than a beautiful family that loves me every day?
I think not.
And yet, I still struggle.
What the heck is with THAT?
So, if exhibits 1-8 are not enough, what will be?
Will I ever be able to truly feel that I am loved and deserving of it? Will I ever be able to believe that what these people see in me is true, real and enough?
I don’t know. And unfortunately friends, this is not one of those blogs posts that sums it all up beautifully and answers all of these questions. It is not one of those “just do these 5 things and you will learn the important lessons the universe is trying to teach you!”
It is one of those blogs where I do not have all the answers but that there is one thing I know for sure…
It is not only through the negative experiences and challenges that the universe teaches us. Some of our most important lessons to be learned are the ones where the people and messages and affirmations keep coming our way to remind us just how good and enough we are.
And I am grateful that I keep getting the opportunities to learn this lesson over and over.
Please don’t give up on me universe!
I haven’t learned what I need to know yet and don’t know if I ever will but I am thankful for the positive lessons you send me each and every day.
I see you. I hear you. I acknowledge you. And I promise to keep doing the work to try and learn the lessons I need to learn.